I wanna live alone

 I been thinking and I've been influenced by youtubers and I just really want to go to europe now. I want to travel and explore and connect more with nature. I love being in places where I can just explore right now I want to go to bali because it looks really beautiful there.

For my baby

I wanna be with you forever , I wanna love with you forever , oh I just want to be inside with you forever , I want be with you forever and enjoy the life with you my love you are the best thing Ive ever love baby, never stop loving me never stop wanting me I wish I was with you right now I wish I was married right now oh we can have the best life of our lives. Baby please be mine forever , dont get tired of me right now I just miss you so terribly please can we be together right now?! Oh im just being silly writing random things. I hope My love got across your minddd, babyyy. xoxo You are my forever and always baby.

Old one

I love you , please know that I love you cris. You are the only person I am currently living for , the person that makes me want to still be living. I live for you , because you exist ok. You are always there for me period , you actually care for me.  Oh GOSH! I never had someone like that before ! From now on I will only be with you and focus on you I mean I have nothing to loose. Its a point where I have nothing valuable besides you in my life. Ugh I love you and I cant believe I have you back after all these years !! You truly make me happy and I’m grateful for you too ....I will keep this short but Im in love with you .

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Back

im back guys!!

Grateful for him

I feel so genuinely happy, even though I am sad. He just makes me happy and cheers me up whenever I am down and depressed. He just shines right through me and makes me shine with him. He is amazing because how can a person treat me so well and do so much for me when I was barely there for them, and I let them down plenty of times. A true definition of an amazing person who cares and loves for you. I have never had a person come in my life before or after him that has done what he has done for me and what he has showed and sacrificed for me. From every little action to every risky action, and everything that he does makes me rethink twice and thank him more than ever. Me just crying and sobbing tears on his shirt and him being so patient with me and rubbing my back.. like oh my god! I have never felt so understood in my life. I just blurted my feelings out, because I have been so alone and had no one to talk to, i'm trapped in my own bubble and it is really hard to come out of it. He comforted me and made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world because to be honest that is rare to find.. someone being with you through thick and thin. Thank you so much for being there.

A page

Dear diary, What is love? because I think that i will never know. I always think that its love but is it truly love eh? Some days I’m happy and some days I wish death upon me. I don’t understand these feelings, and love is truly one of the hardest feelings to feel because nobody will ever truly know what it means and what it feels like until the day comes where someone will show you and make you feel the so called “Love”. As of now its just puppy love and of course my feelings are bottled up locked away and thrown out.

Draking

I like draking sometimes i feel gangsta !!!!!!! Therefore I want to listen to him when i just want to relate to songs. His songs are very relatable, especially his new album! Thousands do the so called "Draking" though nothing new! Right now i am draking because i guess I just am in my feelings. Resolving things is hard ugh life is also hard, hmm who ever knew ?

Have you ever thought what crawls around you at night? Or what's outside that wants to come inside of your house and bite you?! Those scary noises that we hear at night and it scares the death out of you and the wind soaring , banging against your window to let it in. Or maybe you enjoy hearing the crickets sing to you at night because it is quite soothing don't you think? I do. Always thinking that someone is always creeping outside that wants to come in, like a human being or a scary figure that im sure you do not want to know about, Or maybe an animal. Feeling very eerie, because me too.

Cravings

Its 1 a.m. I am extremely tired, with a terrible headache and my laptop is dying and i'm too lazy to charge it. But staying up at night is worth it, because you think more. I love thinking and thinking about so many things in depth, it changes your whole point of view and mindset. Thinking at night makes you realize so many different and new things that you would not have realized in daylight. It is quite amazing , maybe because when i'm alone and quiet and start thinking about things. Good Night readers.

Sometimes pictures and gifs express how I am feeling way better than words can.